Cutting to the chase: you know you’re in business with the wrong person when he wants to move your Internet technology company into peddling automotive spare tire covers.

The tire cover product isn’t even the worst part of the story.  All of this was going down in the middle of the dot-com bubble.  The perfect time to peddle techno-pyrite (fool’s gold), get rolled up into another tech giant, go public, and get Jay-Z rich.  Right?  No.  Lets take a trip into Bizarro World and sell covers for spare tires on the back of sport utility vehicles.  I earned Uranium Medallion Status for my round-trip flights to Business Bizarro World with my old business partners.

What was the attraction?  Money.  Easy money.  No effort required.  Brand licensing through existing business contacts.  Manufacturing all figured out (yes, we’re even talking about having them made here in the US).  Rehashing this story makes me feel, well, stupid.  But back then, it was such a sure-fire opportunity.. I mean, really — everybody wants their favorite major league team covering their spare tire for $75.  And trademark licensing should be a snap.  Wrong, and wrong.

But rewind — how in the heck did I get sold on this gold-plated opportunity?  There was an Internet component — an e-commerce site needed to be programmed to handle the masses of transactions from customers rushing to claim their tire covers.  There had to be an online presence for all of the dealers/resellers to sign up so that they too could be a part of this tire cover revolution.  This opportunity, of course, is in perfect alignment with building micro and vertical search technology or IP-based geo-location technology, right?  Dead wrong.

If anyone, including a trusted business partner, approaches you with a sure-fire idea or opportunity that will not require time and money resources — tell them to drop off the bags of cash and bricks of platinum on your desk, and then get back to work on your core business.

So, back here on Earth, harmful opportunities aren’t nearly as stark as that train wreck described above.  Most of the time, they’re more subtle, such as ideas that would appear (on the surface) to complement or enhance your business objectives.  A new Web analytic tool, SEO campaign, social media strategy, site redesign, public relations initiative, and so on.  One way to identify a harmful opportunity is to listen closely to the person who is making the pitch.  If it’s an unsolicited pitch coming from the outside, you’re likely to be scrutinous.  If it’s coming from inside the company (such as my foray into tire covers), your knee jerk reaction to give it the nod might be an incredible mistake.

Listen closely to them.  Is this a completely new direction or does it complement your core business?  Is it being pitched with life and death consequences?  Is this idea or direction suddenly being referred to as “our bread and butter”?  Does it sound raw and unrefined, possibly catalyzed from a blog article or from a competitor’s feature list?  Does the idea sound neat but not really about your core business?  Has the idea really been fully researched and developed, or is it just a synapse that fired and shot out of their mouth?  If any of those conditions are met, then for the love of Pete, do not say yes.

Notice that I’m not suggesting to shut it down.  Not right away.  If it isn’t part of your core business, it’s probably just going to whither on the vine no matter how many resources you pour into it.  If the idea isn’t fully developed, the person has already wasted company time, and your time.  Defend your resources from these black holes.

Be conscious of how often you’re being asked to divert your resources.  Be conscious of how often you’re actually allowing yourself to be distracted, too.  If the problem is chronic and you’re having to refocus your team over and over, then shut it down.  If it feels like I’m speaking directly to you, then you know exactly what you need to do.

Moral of the story — tire covers sold: zero.

Original photo at http://www.flickr.com/photos/naughtomaton/388242905/

I found a total of five design firms that I liked — all small houses, nothing at the caliber of Fry or Organic.  Those with phone numbers available, I called.  No humans answered, so I left messages.  And all five I wrote e-mails to (or filled out their contact forms), explaining my interest in having them do some simple design and UI work for a “small but professional Web-facing application.”  On the technical side, I told them it was “basic HTML/CSS and static graphics work — no RIA (i.e. Flash, Flex, etc.) or heavy AJAX/JavaScripting”.

So, you’re well aware of the macro economic downturn we are experiencing.. right?  Here it is, ripe, juicy, low-hanging fruit for the taking.  And how many of the five hands are grabbing for it?  Zero.  Absolutely not a single e-mail or phone call back.  I was shocked, and really disappointed.   I actually pass by one of these firms a couple days a week, and I see people there, I assume, working.  Maybe someone just dropped the ball inadvertantly, in all five cases, right?

Several days later, I find contact e-mail addresses either by domain name record, or somewhere else on their Web sites (where possible, one only had a Web contact form — no e-mail, no phone number).  At this point, it’s purely for research: How many of these people/companies will respond with anything? Mind you, we received no bounce-backs from dead e-mail addresses.  The second wave of inquiries go out..

Absolutely nothing.  I am, to this day, floored.  I have been tempted to knock on the door of the firm that I called, left a message, and wrote two e-mails to, and speak directly to the first person at the door: Hey, any chance you’d like some business? But, no way.  As much as I would love to help out a local small business, if you can’t even return a phone call or e-mail, just imagine the teeth pulling required to get work done.  A molar for a first draft creative?  A root canal for a delivery on the UI templates?  I think not, especially when I would be the one feeling the pain of the extractions.

The moral (or molar) of the story is this:  He or she who “shows up” wins, because the competition sure isn’t. When an opportunity presents itself,  find out everything about it, and if it fits, own it. But step one is reply to your inquiries, and do it fast.